Whoa, sit down and grab a beer, 'cause I've got news that'll make you realize even the weather ain't on our side! Starting tomorrow evening, June 4, God's dumping buckets on our heads. The meteorologists, those guys who mess up more often than Mioara at the grocery store, have issued a Yellow Code for storms and floods in half the country. And I ain't joking, bro - we got hail, wind at 70 km/h, and enough water for a whole year. Let me tell you what a guy from ANM told me, off the record.
First, from Wednesday evening, 8:00 PM, until Thursday 10:00 AM, they're slapping a Yellow Code on Timis, Caras-Severin, Mehedinti, Gorj, Dolj, and southern Hunedoara. There, expect torrential downpours, lightning like God's playing pinball, wind of 50-70 km/h, and small to medium hail. Water amounts: 15-25 liters per square meter, but locally jumping to 30-40. I say grab your galoshes, 'cause if you're in the area, you're taking a bath in the yard, no joke.
Second part, nastier: Thursday, between 12:00 PM and 11:00 PM, it hits Arges, Buzau, Calarasi, Dambovita, Giurgiu, Ilfov, Ialomita, Olt, Prahova, Teleorman, Valcea, Vrancea, and, attention, BUCHAREST! Yeah, bro, the capital's in the crosshairs. Same combo: torrential downpours, lightning, storms, and hail. Water again 15-25 liters per square meter, isolated up to 40. I looked at the sky from my place in Berceni and said, "Mioara, pull the laundry off the balcony, or the wind's taking us with it!"
And to top it off, INHGA, the hydrology guys, issued a Yellow Code for floods from Wednesday 8:00 PM to Thursday 12:00 PM. Targeted rivers: Bega, Timis, Poganis, Barzava, Caras, Nera, Cerna, Jiu de Vest, Jiu, and Motru. Basically the whole west and southwest. Rapid flow increases, runoff on slopes, flash floods. If you got a house near a river, better move the furniture upstairs, 'cause there's a lot of water coming. And don't count on the mayor's office, they're busy with meetings.
Temperatures? Highs between 20 and 29 degrees, lows between 11 and 18. In Cluj, 20 degrees with rain - normal, there it rains even when it's sunny. On the coast, 21-23 degrees, sea water at 18-19 - so if you wanted to swim, wait a bit. And at night, fog in spots, so be careful driving, 'cause my 2008 BMW doesn't have fog sensors, just flashy lights.
So, bro, Thursday June 4 ain't for hanging out on Fane's terrace. Grab your umbrella, listen to the meteorologists, and don't park under trees, 'cause I learned my lesson two years ago: a branch fell on my hood and left a dent the size of a fist. Still hurts when I see it. For now, I'm gonna call Relu to see if he can loan some boats, 'cause he's got a warehouse in the countryside - at least he knows his stuff.
