Man, sit down and hold on tight, because I found out something huge! Primark, the one with bargain-priced clothes, just opened its fifth store here, in ElectroPutere Mall. Yeah, yeah, right in the southwest of the country, where until now you couldn't get a t-shirt for 20 lei without going all the way to Bucharest. And they're bringing a new CFO, Lucy Slinger, a chick who worked at IKEA and Shell, so she knows what to do with the money. For real, bro, I can't wait to go with Mioara to get her an outfit for Sunday's barbecue. But check this out: Primark wants to open three more stores by the end of the year. Ever since they came in 2022, it's like they've stormed us. And no wonder: cheap, quality clothes, and we Romanians are champions at bargains. Who pays? We do, with our low salaries, but at least we dress like people.
But it's not all about clothes. Foreign tourist spending in Romania jumped over 5 billion euros last year! Five billion, bro, with 12% annual growth, the fastest in the entire European Union. Americans, Germans, Brits, Italians - everyone comes here and drops cash. Americans dropped 554 million, Germans 546, Brits 518 - it's like they're one of us, right? And in the first quarter of 2026, 8% growth. And we want fancy hotels too: The Hoxton, Hyatt, Kempinski, Marriott - over 5,000 rooms by the end of the decade. I look at my 2008 BMW and think: I'd love a stay at the Marriott too, but Mioara says it's too expensive for our budget.
On the more serious front, South Korea has become a good friend. We bought 54 K9 howitzers and 36 K10 vehicles from Hanwha Aerospace, with local production included. Poland bought even more, but we're building our army too. Delivery speed is high, and everything is NATO-compatible. What can I say, better to arm ourselves than leave it to fate. But I can already hear some: "Why not give the money to healthcare?" Well, bro, if you don't have an army, you don't have healthcare either, because someone else comes and takes everything.
But wait till you hear what Ukraine says? SPRAVDI, their communication center, says it's not true that Romania went bankrupt because of the aid we gave them. They say we only gave 540 million euros directly, and the total, including the EU, is about 1.91 billion. Our economic problems are older: a 9.3% of GDP deficit last year, tax revenues of only 28.8% of GDP, compared to the EU average of 40%. So don't blame the Ukrainians, blame our rulers who don't know how to collect taxes. For real, nobody paid me anything, but at least I know it's not the neighbors' fault.
And not to forget: Primark, tourists, weapons - all this shows Romania is a top destination. But, as usual, the money doesn't reach us, but the barons. What can you do, that's how it is here. Well, I'm off to tell Brian that Primark has discounts, maybe I'll get him some sneakers. Because he only dreams of 800-lei Nikes, but I'll get him from Primark for 100. And they're still Romanian, right?
