Listen up, bro, I got this straight from a guy of mine who moves in high circles. Igor Secin, the boss of Rosneft, opened his mouth at the St. Petersburg Economic Forum and said that closing the Strait of Hormuz benefits exactly the Americans. Well, yeah, bro, I would've thought it benefits us, but look, it doesn't.
"So what? You thought the Americans were just sitting around? They're the biggest oil producers in the world, followed by Saudi Arabia and us Russians.
So when the Iranians block that strait - where 20% of the world's oil passes through - who do you think jumps in to fill the gap? Exactly, the Americans, with jacked-up prices. And we Russians are rubbing our hands because our revenues went up 32.4% in May, to $9.3 billion, thanks to the Middle East war.
So stop crying, because it works for us. But Secin warns that if tensions go on too long, oil demand will drop and the world will look to alternative energy. Well, duh, bro, when you're paying 10 bucks a liter for gas, you start thinking about solar panels.
"It's like a snowball effect: militarization, financial bubble, shortages. What can I say, it's like we're queuing for bread in the '80s. And now Zelensky comes with his whining: he said Putin refuses a peace meeting, that 'the Russian side still chooses war.'
But Putin replied dryly: 'I don't see the point of a meeting.' So while these guys are scrapping, we Romanians are paying higher gas and fuel bills. I'm off to explain to Mioara why I bet on oil again and lost.
Don't worry, she'll make it up with sarmale.
