Boss, sit down because I found out something that'll make you cross yourself! Word is the Americans and Iranians want to make peace, ditch the sanctions, and pump 300 billion dollars into rebuilding Iran. But who do you think grabs all the cash? Exactly, the Revolutionary Guards – the ones the Americans have on their terrorist list. No joke! The IRGC, as the slick ones call them, has its hand in everything that moves in Iran: from oil and gas to construction, telecoms, and cars. They've got a construction company, Khatam al-Anbia, which controls hundreds of firms. Any peace deal will fill their pockets even more. The interim agreement already lets them export oil, and if a big one gets signed, the Guard will be even richer. And here's the trick: Iranian law forces foreign investors to partner with local firms, and most are controlled by the IRGC. So Western companies wanting to enter the market will do business directly with a terrorist organization. It's like pulling a scam with gloves on. Experts say this will create huge legal problems, but who cares, bro? Money is money.
At the same time, in Dubai – where all our flashy wannabes dream of buying an apartment – the exact opposite is happening. The real estate market crashed after that war broke out in February. An Iranian rocket hit a luxury hotel in March, on Palm Jumeirah, and since then all the rich folks are selling their villas 20-25% cheaper. The number of transactions dropped 19% in May compared to April, and total sales value was only 6.1 billion dollars, 42% less than in April. Owners are cutting prices by tens of millions of dollars, but still hardly anyone is buying. Investors from Europe are sitting tight, waiting to see what happens. Specialists say the market was overheated anyway and thousands of small real estate agencies will go bankrupt. Richard Waind, a consultant, called the war a 'black swan event.' Well, yeah, bro, the black swan came and smashed all those luxury villa dreams to pieces.
And to see how hardcore Islam is, singer Parastoo Ahmadi was sentenced to 74 lashes and banned from traveling and working for two years for singing online without a veil. She put on a concert on YouTube in December 2024, and the video has nearly 3 million views. In Iran, women are forbidden from singing in public. Protests have escalated, and in January 2026 images emerged of women lighting their cigarettes with pictures of the Supreme Leader. That's the limit, cuz! While the Guards are raking in cash, women are being whipped. That's how it is everywhere, bro: lots of money for power, and the rest can fend for themselves. For now, I'm off to explain to Mioara why we're not buying an apartment in Dubai this year – because even if the market crashes, we'd be left with a swollen lip.
