Bro, grab a coffee and sit down, 'cause I've got news that'll make you realize even our forests are getting ripped off! Acting Environment Minister Diana Buzoianu uncovered a sweet scam in Caraș-Severin - that county with the forests we always see in pictures. 250,000 saplings, bro, that were supposed to be planted in the coming years, existed only on paper! The Timișoara Forest Guard inspection showed that the forestry staff knew the trees weren't there, but they still recorded them in the documents and, what's more, billed maintenance work for imaginary crops. Man, come on! I never thought of stealing virtual trees, but these guys are more creative than the IT geeks in Pipera.
"This is how future forests are stolen," Buzoianu wrote on Facebook, and I swear she's right. They checked 55 nurseries of the Caraș-Severin Forestry Directorate and found damages of 77,000 lei. That's about 15,000 euros, for which some would go to jail, but this is Romania, bro, not Switzerland. The Forest Guard filed a criminal complaint, and Buzoianu filed one too. Well, if you don't get involved, the system eats you up, as a buddy of mine used to say.
But what pisses me off the most is how the guilty got off easy! Buzoianu criticized the sanctions applied by the Forestry Directorate: a few 10% salary cuts for staff and written warnings for the district chiefs. "It's outrageous, yes," she said, and honestly, I think it's a laughingstock. Here, if you steal 77,000 lei, you get a warning and go home peacefully, like you got a parking ticket. That's not how it's done, bro! In Berceni, if I catch someone stealing my car, I'll fry them, not give them a note saying 'careful, don't do it again'.
But Bombardierul also has some good news: Buzoianu announced a reform at Romsilva. In the medium term, district chiefs will sign performance-based management contracts. Starting next year, those who don't carry out planned work will get their contracts terminated, not warnings. Man, come on! Now let's see if it's implemented or stays on paper, like those saplings. If you ask me, I won't believe it until I see it with my own eyes. Until then, I'm gonna call Fane to see if we can catch a barbecue this weekend - at least there we know the sausages are real, not on paper!
