Bro, hold on tight, because I've got news that'll make you realize Romanians are inventive even in prison! A fellow countryman of ours, 69 years old, residing in the UK, was sentenced by the Hasselt Court to a fine of 1.8 million euros. And why? Because he organized a "scam" with 5 million liters of beer. Yes, you heard right, five million liters! No joke!

Listen to the scheme here: our old man, a sort of "Belgium's Bombardier", pulled off 219 beer shipments from a small town, Lummen, in Limburg province. Officially, the beer was headed to Germany to take advantage of lower excise duties there. In reality, the trucks took it to the UK, and the excise duties... well, no trace of them. The Belgian state was left with a pout and budget holes worth millions.

The prosecutor said this business is as profitable as drug trafficking. I say it's even cooler: with beer, at least you have a reason to party when they catch you. Initially, the Belgian tax authorities demanded a fine of 9 million euros, but the judge reduced it to 1.8 million. Why? Because the old man had another conviction in 2021, when the Antwerp Court of Appeal gave him 30 months in prison and a fine of 32.7 million euros (of which 32 million suspended). The judge said a new fine of several million would be too much. That's how justice works in Belgium: they take a part, but not too much, so the thief doesn't get upset.

The old man didn't show up for the trial. Why? Because he's incarcerated in Spain for other "deeds". That is, besides that beer, he has other sins too. He probably tried to do the same with wine, but there was no more room in the truck.

Now, let's be serious: a 1.8 million euro fine for someone who stole tens of times more? In Romania, if you steal a loaf of bread, you go to jail. In Belgium, if you steal 5 million liters of beer, you pay a fine smaller than an apartment in Cluj. What a mess! Caragiale would have written an entire play from this story.

What do we learn from this? That the Romanian is inventive anywhere, but also that justice is like reheated soup: it has no taste, but you get full quickly. I wonder what Mioara will say when I tell her that a 69-year-old pulled off a bigger scam than all my parking fines combined. Come on, I'm going to drink a cold beer and meditate on how I could have pulled off a scheme like this. Until then, let's be glad we don't have to pay 1.8 million euros, because they're already fleecing us alive with the 21% VAT!