Bro, sit down and hold on to your chair, because I've got a pile of news that'll make you double-check your plans for June 7! From horoscopes and bad weather to a global food conspiracy – pay attention, because it's full of stuff that hits you directly, not others!
Let's start with the horoscope, because Mioara told me to check before I pull another bill from the mattress. For real, the Moon in Pisces puts Leos in the spotlight – exactly the type who show off on the terrace, like Relu with his Audi. Aries get a tip from an old man, but don't argue with friends over money – I know what I'm saying, I got burned by Mitică 3 years ago, he still owes me 200 lei! Cancers, watch your cash, and Scorpios need patience, otherwise it'll turn into a mess. The idea is not to get into stupid arguments and dream about the future – easy to say when you have payments on a 2008 BMW!
Now, the weather, bro, because any guy from Berceni knows June 7 is a day of chaos in the sky. According to ProTV News, the eastern and southern half of the country is hit by storms, torrential downpours, and hail – exactly in Moldova, Bucovina, and the mountains, where over 40 liters per square meter accumulate. In Botoșani, the poorest and most pissed-off county, the roads don't even have time to dry before another flood comes. Meanwhile, in the west, in Brașov or Cluj, where renting a studio costs as much as a salary, the sun blazes at 28-30 degrees – it's like a slap in the face for us in the east! And in Bucharest, noisy afternoon showers – look how they ruin my plans to have a barbecue with the boys at Fane's!
But wait, that's not all. June 7 is also World Food Safety Day, with the theme "From burden to solutions." The World Health Organization says 600 million cases of foodborne illness occur annually, and 420,000 people die from food. The worst part is that 40% of that hits children under 5 – think about my Ioana, 8 years old, who wants an iPhone and eats anything she finds in the fridge! For real, that's premeditated murder, bro! And so, in Romania, where the little boss with the Audi pays us late, we also have to watch what we buy at Lidl, where Mioara is a cashier and knows all the tips. The truth is that we, the regular folks, are left to fend for ourselves, while the barons build their villas in Pipera.
Now, let's move on to history, because it doesn't hurt to know. On June 7, 1494, the Spanish and Portuguese divided the land like a pizza at the Treaty of Tordesillas. In 1929, the Vatican was re-established – kind of like my mother-in-law, Veta, who comes with pickles and moonshine from the village and sets up her kingdom in the apartment. And in 1982, Priscilla Presley opened Graceland to the public – and so, a dead man still makes money today, while I struggle to pay my car loan.
And, bro, so you don't say I don't have fun too, on June 23 there's the RXF Next Fighter 31 gala, broadcast exclusively on VOYO. The main event is Daniel Chiriță vs. The Vigilante of Berceni – look, right from my neighborhood, man! Listen, Boby Mirică vs. Alex Nistor, and The Prince of Cluj vs. Valentin Tănase. Tickets are on iabilet.ro: 100 lei for the couch or 300 at the table. For 100 lei, I might go for it, if Mioara doesn't drag me shopping. For now, I'm going to check if Tyson, my dog, survived the storm, because the Amstaff gets scared even of the vacuum cleaner!
