Man, you gotta see this madness! Real Madrid is on a rampage in the transfer market, and the main target is Michael Olise, that guy from Bayern. Gazzetta dello Sport writes that Olise has already said 'YES,' especially since he'd play club football with Kylian Mbappe, just like for the French national team. Word is they talked during training camp and Olise was thrilled with what he heard. I bet he was, bro – when it comes to Real Madrid, any player does backflips of joy. Me, if Florentino called, I'd leave my BMW in the parking lot and walk all the way to the Bernabeu.
Real is preparing a €150 million offer and is ready to raise it if Bayern refuses. But here's the problem: Bayern doesn't even want to hear it. Herbert Hainer, the Bavarians' president, recently said: 'If Florentino Perez wants to make an offer, don't bother, because it's pointless. We're not a club that sells players.' Classic German tactic: they play hard to get, like my wife Mioara when I want to take her out. But as they say: for the right money, they'll still sit at the table.
And he's not the only one! Real also has its eye on Enzo Fernandez, the Argentine midfielder from Chelsea, world champion in 2022. Marca writes that Enzo has already given his approval for the transfer and is waiting for the clubs to agree. Chelsea doesn't consider him untransferable, but they won't let him go for less than €120 million – exactly what they paid in January 2023 for him. And I'm complaining to Mioara that I spent 2000 lei on tires for the BMW, man… these guys throw millions around like paper.
In the meantime, Real has already made some sensational free moves: Ibrahima Konate from Liverpool and Bernardo Silva from Manchester City, both free agents. They also paid €20 million for Denzel Dumfries from Inter and €50 million for Marc Cucurella from Chelsea. That's how it's done, bro! That's how you do business: bring in stars for little money or even free, and for Olise and Enzo you're willing to break the bank. I wonder what Gică Dinamovistul would say if Dinamo bought someone for €150 million… maybe a popcorn from the vending machine.
So I'm off to explain to Brian how I lost a bet on Olise – he says Bayern is his favorite team, but when he hears about €150 million, his eyes go wide and he shuts up.
