Boss, sit down and hold on tight, because what I found out today from the boys at Fane made me drop my BMW keys in my coffee! People are fighting, bro, with drones and rockets, and I'm thinking about how much a full tank will cost next week. Listen up: the conflict between America and Iran has gone completely crazy, like it's a movie script, but this is real and it's hitting us right in the wallet.
Here's how it stands, no joke. US President Donald Trump announced Thursday that he's resuming airstrikes against Iran, after the Iranians shot down an American Apache helicopter and negotiations fell apart like cold polenta. Then, as if he changed his mind, he canceled the new strikes but threatened to hit Iran "very hard" "tonight" and suggested seizing Kharg Island and other strategic oil infrastructure, just like he did in Venezuela. Man, seriously! I mean, I can barely afford the installment on my 2008 BMW, and these guys are playing at conquering oil like it's Monopoly.
Iran, of course, didn't sit idly by. They retaliated with attacks on American bases in Bahrain, Kuwait, and Jordan, and also hit the headquarters of the US Fifth Fleet in Bahrain. Kuwait's civil aviation authority confirmed that the Iranian attacks damaged an airport radar and caused injuries. Seriously, I can already hear Mioara saying: "See, I told you, don't buy gas from that Turkish place, everything's getting more expensive!" And what's more, Iran announced it will target any ship transiting the Strait of Hormuz and has already hit two vessels trying to cross. The US Army denied the strait is closed, saying commercial ships are still passing, but who knows how long that'll last?
On the diplomacy front, there's more quarreling than in our building when the upstairs neighbor, Gheorghe, drills holes in the walls on Sunday morning. Trump said a "very good deal" with Iran has been reached, which could be signed this weekend in Europe. But Iranian Foreign Ministry spokesman Esmail Baghaei denied there is a "final conclusion." And to make it even more chaotic, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's office announced that Trump promised any deal would include the elimination of Iranian nuclear material. China, as usual, called on both sides to "immediately" cease military operations, and 22 countries, including the US and Australia, demanded Iran stop attacks on individuals on their territories. Man, is that how you make peace? With threats and empty promises, like everyone's at a terrace drinking beer, but nobody's paying the bill.
Commander of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps Aerospace Force, Majid Mousavi, threatened that Iran will turn the Middle East into a "hell" for the US. The ceasefire is considered "practically meaningless" by Iranian diplomacy, after another night of American bombings that approached Tehran. In southern Iran, water supply was restored after repairs to tanks damaged by US attacks. And to make it even more tragic, three Indian crew members are missing after a US attack on an oil tanker off the coast of Oman. What times, bro! I pray it doesn't reach us, because I've had enough with the installments and Mioara yelling at me for not bringing enough money home.
Meanwhile, UN High Commissioner for Human Rights Volker Turk announced the dispatch of a mission to Lebanon to investigate violations of international law, and Iraqi authorities received an inventory of weapons from a pro-Iranian group, with a view to integrating it into state institutions. Right, and my Brian keeps telling me he wants new sneakers for 800 lei, but what am I supposed to do? Pull money out of Arabian oil?
Alright, I'm off to check the gas price at the corner station, because since I heard about all these fights, I feel like leaving the BMW at home and taking the bus, but no, because the guys know me and they'll laugh at me.
