Man, hold on tight! I just found out what happened at the World Cup in America, and damn, it left me speechless. Turkey and Paraguay, both with 0 points in the group, fought like in mafia movies, but the South Americans pulled off a historic scam. Check out the action: Matias Galarza, a 23-year-old kid from Atlanta United, opened the scoring in the 65th second – yeah, you heard right, 65 seconds! He fired from 25 meters, destroyed the Turkish keeper, and broke the tournament record. Earlier, a Moroccan had set 71 seconds, but Galarza left him with a swollen lip. Back home in Berceni, if something like that happened, Mioara would have a heart attack at Lidl. Paraguay's record still belongs to Celso Ayala – 52 seconds in '98 against Nigeria – but this is also something you tell at the terrace with Fane while drinking a well-deserved beer.
But the madness doesn't stop there! Miguel Almiron, Paraguay's star, got a straight red for covering his mouth with his hand – the new FIFA rule, bro, considers that a provocative gesture. The Turkish crowd roared with joy like it was a goal, like the stock market opened in Berceni. Now Almiron is out, and Gustavo Alfaro has to manage without his key man in attack. Let's be serious, this rule is like banning us from spitting at the intersection – but FIFA is FIFA, you don't mess with them.
Montella's Turkey came with big thoughts but lost 2-0 to Australia, even though they fired 30 shots – 30, man, like my BMW's installments! And now, against Paraguay, they had the same bad luck. The stats are brutal: Turkey has lost 9 of their last 13 matches at final tournaments, and now they risk an early exit from their first World Cup since the bronze in 2002. In the last round, they face the USA, one of the revelations – and I was hoping to see the Turks pull off a surprise, like when I bet on them at Fane's and lost 200 lei.
Paraguay, on the other hand, didn't start well: they lost 4-1 to the United States, trailing 3-0 at halftime. After 14 years away from the World Cup, they now risk another quick elimination. But in qualifiers, they beat Brazil and Argentina – so they have potential, like my car when it starts in the morning. Their only goal against the USA was scored by Mauricio after a move by Enciso, and now, without Almiron, everything rests on Enciso and Tonny Sanabria, the qualifiers' top scorer.
Montella also has problems with Juventus' Kenan Yildiz, who wasn't a starter against Australia due to physical issues. In attack, he relies on Arda Guler, Baris Alper Yilmaz, and Orkun Kokcu, with Hakan Calhanoglu at the helm. For the striker spot, Kerem Akturkoglu and Deniz Gul are battling. In the Paraguayan camp, Gustavo Caballero is uncertain, and Ramon Sosa has a swollen ankle. Alfaro might change the defense, but center-backs Gustavo Gomez and Omar Alderete remain starters. It's like me changing the tires on my BMW – sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
The only direct meeting between the two was a friendly in 1995, 0-0. Turkey has faced South Americans twice at the World Cup, both against Brazil in 2002. They have a record of 11 matches: 5 wins, 1 draw, 5 losses, goal difference 20-19, and no match without a goal – it's like my game when I go to Fane's, something always happens. Paraguay has won only 2 of their last 14 matches against European teams at the World Cup, and in 8 appearances, they've started with two consecutive losses twice, the last time in 2006. Overall record: 28 matches, 7 wins, 10 draws, 11 losses, goal difference 31-42, the heaviest defeat being 3-7 to France in '58.
Now, with two and a half hours until kickoff, tens of thousands of fans are in the San Francisco Bay Area stadium, including neutral supporters in Mexico or USA jerseys. The referee is Ivan Barton from El Salvador. For now, I'm going to explain to Mioara why we have no money for a vacation in Antalya: because I'm waiting for Paraguay to qualify, and until then, I'm watching football at Fane's terrace!
