Bro, grab a coffee and sit down, 'cause I've got news that'll show you how slick some people are around here! So, FCSB found out their opponent in the second qualifying round of the Conference League - FK Auda, from Latvia. Who the hell is Auda, man?! Well, let me tell you, 'cause I checked the sources, I found out everything.

So, FK Auda is a team from Kekava, near Riga, founded in 1969, but they only returned to the Latvian top league in 2022. And what did they do? They won the Latvian Cup in 2022 and again last year, in 2025. In the league, they finished 3rd in 2023 and 2024. Their squad is worth 4.45 million euros - that's like two of our players, bro! The most expensive is captain Eduards Daskevics, at 400,000 euros. In Conference League qualifiers, they've played 10 matches in the last two seasons: five wins, three draws, two losses. Not scary, but not a joke either.

Gigi Becali, our boss, told digisport.ro: 'I don't talk about what I don't know. I don't know about Auda. I only know that we have to reach the Conference League group stage. That's all I know and I don't care about anything else.' You hear that, bro? That's how it's done! Gigi, with his usual nerve, says he doesn't care about the opponent, he just wants the groups. I like the attitude, but they better not get surprised, 'cause it's not like in the countryside, man!

FCSB is seeded, the squad is valued at 31.3 million euros. They've already secured 525,000 euros from UEFA just for qualifying to the second round. If they beat Auda, they get another 725,000 euros, then 925,000 at the play-off. And if they enter the main phase, 3.17 million euros, plus match bonuses: 133,000 for a draw, 400,000 for a win. If they finish 9th-16th, they get another million, and in the top eight, two million. I keep hearing about this money, bro, and I think: why wasn't I a footballer? My boy Brian says he'll make it there, but for now he plays on PlayStation.

The matches are on July 23 and 30. The first leg is probably at home, let's see. The draw for the third round is on July 20, and for the play-off on August 3. If we get through, we'll face another tough nut. But wait, Gigi says he doesn't care - he wants the groups. And he's right, man, 'cause that's where the money is.

Now, I'm not worried. FCSB is above Auda, no question. But don't forget: in Romanian football, nothing is certain. Look, a few years ago, we lost to a team from Kazakhstan, bro, what more can I say! So let's be optimistic, but with fear of God. I'm going to explain to Mioara - she says football is a waste of time, but when she hears about those millions, she shuts up.