Bro, hold on tight because I've got news that'll make you spit out your coffee faster than Mioara runs for Lidl discounts! Sam Bankman-Fried, the guy who hit the jackpot with crypto and blew billions of dollars from his clients, now grabbed a pen and filed an official pardon request, straight to the Justice Department's Office of the Pardon Attorney. Yeah, yeah, just like CNBC wrote! He's got 25 years of prison to serve, because he got caught with his hand in the pockets of the suckers from FTX and Alameda Research. And now, bro, he hopes that Donald Trump, who's already granted 147 pardons since his second term, will let him off. But hold up, it's not that simple! Trump said in January, in an interview with the New York Times, that he doesn't want to pardon so-called "well-known people," and he mentioned Bankman-Fried by name. So, for real, his chances are as slim as dirt under a fingernail. So, even though the request is under review, I say Sam can make vacation plans in the prison yard, not on a Malibu beach.
Now, let's move to the other end of the smartness spectrum: Donald Trump, the US president, who kinda lost his cool in an interview with NBC News. He was on a farm in Wisconsin, with torrential rain and hay bales in the background, and journalist Kristen Welker asked him about Iran. And he, like a true bombardier, got pissed and said: "You're a biased and dishonest station. I'm sorry, we're stopping here, because I'm fed up! Thank you, sweetheart, have fun!" And he got up and left, leaving Welker with her mouth open. Then he added that NBC broadcasts "fake polls" and that journalists are "liars and corrupt." Now, the girl said she talked to him afterwards and Trump promised a new interview, but I don't really believe it. When I see that attitude, I think about how I get pissed when Mioara asks me why I spent 200 lei on a fake watch, but he's the President of the United States, man!
And he didn't stop there. On Truth Social, Trump posted something like: "Israel and Iran must immediately stop the 'shootings.'" He says both sides want a ceasefire, but negotiations are blocked by "ignorance or stupidity." In reality, Iran launched missiles toward Tel Aviv, and Israel responded by attacking military bases and a petrochemical plant near Tehran. Trump says he wants peace, but Israel ignored US requests and continued fighting. It's like me saying I won't drink beer at Fane's terrace, and in the end I drink one and a half.
Now, let's talk about the UFC Freedom 250 gala. On June 14, when Trump turns 80, he wanted to organize a mixed martial arts gala on the South Lawn of the White House. But the Public Integrity Project, a law firm, sued the Department of the Interior and the National Park Service, saying the event is illegal, lacks Congressional approval, and is an abuse of public property for private profit. Their lawyer, Brendan Ballou, said that "using sacred national monuments for private gain is deeply abusive." A Trump administration official replied that the lawsuit is "obstructionist, baseless, and dilatory." I mean, seriously, now you can't even have a private event in your own backyard? But if I think about it, I'd be embarrassed to set up a stadium in front of the White House for my birthday. But that's America, bro!
And to make it even more interesting, Trump's son-in-law, Jared Kushner, has a 1.4 billion euro project in Albania, on the Balkan coast, to build a luxury tourist complex. The area is a protected zone, Vjosa-Narta, where flamingos, seals, and turtles live. Protesters took to the streets with pink inflatable birds and signs reading "Flamingo Revolution." But Albania's Prime Minister, Edi Rama, says the project will be "wonderful" and that "great dreams have always been accompanied by controversy." He said the barbed wire fence they initially put up was a "shameful idea" and they took it down. But the environmental assessment hasn't been done yet; it will be done in parallel. Man, go figure! So they build, and only afterwards do they check if they're destroying nature. What can I say, it's like in Romania, but at least we cut forests, not flamingos.
Well, that's America, bro! While a fake crypto billionaire asks for a pardon, the president threatens journalists, argues with Iran, wants to hold UFC galas in front of the White House, and lets his son-in-law destroy a nature reserve. Alright, I'm going to tell Mioara not to hope we'll move to Albania, because even in Berceni we can find flamingos at Lidl!
