Bro, hold on tight and put down that kebab for a sec, 'cause I've got news that cuts through the air harder than my BMW's exhaust after a night of flexing! TOTAL SHOCK at Roland Garros! Italian Matteo Arnaldi, 25, ranked 104 ATP, withdrew less than an hour before the semifinal, due to a virus. Just when I was ready to watch the match with the boys at Fane's terrace, order a beer, and argue with Gică the Dinamo fan! That's not how you do it, bro!
The story is simple: Arnaldi announced he couldn't step on court against his friend, Flavio Cobolli (24, 14 ATP). At the press conference, he said it started the night before: "Last night I started having stomach issues. I couldn't sleep, I vomited a lot, and I called the doctor early in the morning, but nothing could be done. I wouldn't have been able to stay on court and I had to give up." He blamed it on a virus, not food poisoning, and he also had a fever. Honestly, to me it seems like either he ate something bad at that Michelin-star restaurant, or he got scared of Zverev. But hey, God have mercy, me with my 2008 BMW and Ioana's allowance, him with 19 hours and 43 minutes on court on the way to the semifinal. In the quarters, he had benefited from Berrettini's withdrawal (hip injury). What a coincidence, right?
Cobolli reacted like a gentleman: "Thank you, because for all of us, you were an example in these two weeks through the way you fought and the commitment you always showed in your career. You are the example of an athlete and an excellent professional. I hope we'll have the chance to have another great battle." Nice of him, but it seems like he would have wanted to play, to put on a show, not to enter through the back door. I never liked winning without working for it, as Mioara said when I bought the BMW: "Everything with bribes and connections, not with honest work."
Now, the show goes on. Spectators who had tickets for the second semifinal will get a full refund - at least that, so they don't leave with a sour face. Cobolli qualifies for his first Grand Slam final without playing and will face Alexander Zverev (29, 3 ATP) on Sunday. The head-to-head is 3-1 in favor of the German: he won at Roland Garros 2025, Halle 2025, and Madrid 2026, while the Italian beat him in Munich 2026. It seems like an almost impossible mission for Cobolli, especially since Zverev is in great form. But as the guys at Fane's say, "Tennis is like football: you shoot, bro, and it might go in."
Zverev will play his fourth Grand Slam final, after US Open 2020 (lost to Thiem), Roland Garros 2024 (lost to Alcaraz), and Australian Open 2025 (lost to Sinner). The German becomes the fifth active player to reach multiple finals at Roland Garros, after Novak Djokovic (7), Wawrinka, Ruud, and Alcaraz (2 each). That's how you do it, champ! But let's see if he finally wins a title, 'cause losing, he knows well.
The bottom line? Tennis is like a bombardier's life: sometimes you win on merit, other times on the sponsorship of luck or a virus. I'm going to explain to Mioara why I lost my bet on Arnaldi - "It's not my fault, woman, a virus got him!"
