Bro, wait till you see what America came up with now! A chick from Chicago, former travel journalist Jen Billock, started reading the future in… cheese! Yeah, you heard right, bro. Not in coffee, not in tea, but in cheddar. The method is called tyromancy and it's over 2,000 years old, from the 2nd century. Back then, in England, people looked at cheese to see if you were guilty or how the harvest would turn out. Now Jen brought it up to date.

And how did she get into this method? Well, during the pandemic, when everyone was staying home and making bread, she was looking at tarot. And she thought: "Hey, if I read coffee grounds, why not read a piece of cheese?" And just like that, the business was born. The process is simple: you look at the holes, the cracks, the texture, and you build a story. Just like with coffee, but with sausages and beer.

Now listen up, because this is important: the client chooses their own cheeses, to have a personal connection. During the session, four pieces of cheese are used. And it doesn't matter if it's expensive artisanal cheese or processed stuff from Lidl, like the kind Mioara buys on sale. Jen says they're all equally "talkative." Listen, bro, even I, when I look at the 3-lei cheese, wonder what that hole means.

Different types convey different messages. Blue cheeses, like Gorgonzola or Cambozola, are "loud," with lots of details. Those talk like ten. On the other hand, a simple cheddar or processed cheese gives you clearer, more direct messages. Just like with us: one guy acts like a big shot and rambles for an hour, another tells it straight to your face.

And she doesn't just read cheese, bro! Jen can interpret symbols in almost any food: salads, croissants, beer, wine, curry. She's read everything. I say we invite her to Fane's terrace, to read the minced meat rolls on the grill. That way, we'll see if they turn out good or we start fasting.

The method attracts everyone from spiritualists to skeptics. Jen doesn't want to convince anyone: "The worst thing that can happen is you learn something about yourself and then eat a piece of cheese. I don't see why you wouldn't try." She's right, bro. Maybe tomorrow I'll do a session for Brian, to see if he'll get a 10 in math.

Currently, the American is writing a book about tyromancy. She says it'll be a hit. I'm thinking: if it catches on here too, you'll see fortune tellers in Berceni reading telemea and urda. For now, I'm going to look in the fridge, maybe the Lidl cheese will tell me if I'll land another contract.

Alright, Mioara's calling me to take out the trash. Until next time, don't forget: if you have a camembert at home, take a good look at it. Maybe it'll tell you something!