Boss, what do you know! The mechanical orange, sorry, Portugal, smashed the record for the hottest May day - 40.3 degrees Celsius in Mora, a little town in the center. Bro, I melt at 30, but 40? That's an oven, not weather anymore! The previous record was also theirs, 40 degrees in 2001. Now they say the heatwave started on May 20 and stretches until early June. Their institute, IPMA, says it 'has a high probability' of being the longest and most intense wave for May. So what about us? Mioara says the electricity bill will skyrocket because she's running the AC non-stop. And she's right, because nobody's gonna cool us down!
But it's not just Portugal, bro! In France, ministers gathered urgently to see how to handle the heatwave. And what do you know? Jannik Sinner, world number one in tennis, withdrew from Roland Garros because of the temperatures. Man, I say it was divine inspiration, otherwise he'd have heatstroke on the court. In Rome, authorities issued a red alert - Thursday might hit 32 degrees. In our Berceni, at 32 degrees, the neighbor from apartment 4 blasts music with windows open, like it's cabbage on the balcony!
And it doesn't stop here! Meteorologists estimate the heatwave lasts until the weekend, and Germany, Spain, and Switzerland are burning too. In Portugal, Thursday and Friday, temperatures over 35 degrees, then they say it'll calm down. But how can it calm down, cuz, when even the 'heat dome' - a mass of hot air from North Africa trapped under a high-pressure system over Western Europe - gives us headaches? Scientists say human-induced climate change makes extreme events - heatwaves, droughts, floods - more intense. Hear that, 'human-induced'! So what did we Romanians induce? We just turned on the AC and grilled some sausages! Instead of taking us as an example, they hit us with heatwaves!
Wait, I'm not done! These records keep breaking, bro. A few years ago, it was crazy with 40 degrees in July, now we're doing it in May! We'll end up having weddings in the cold and holidays on the beach. Mioara says to buy a fan, but I'm thinking: better move to the mountains, in Alba, at the Alba Carolina Citadel. It's cool there, historic, and maybe I'll meet a tourist who asks about the weather. But until then, I'm going to Fane's terrace to drink a cold beer and complain about the heat. Because that's life: we all get hot, but we still pay the bills!
