Boss, sit down and hold on tight, because what I found out today gave me chills worse than when I saw that Mioara found the receipt for the BMW parts and told me, 'That's vacation money, man!'. The President of Ukraine, Zelensky, signed a law on Friday - and it's no joke, bro - that withdraws the protected status of the Russian language. Man, imagine: that language spoken by the guys at the corner kebab shop is now left out in the cold. 'The language of an aggressor state cannot benefit from protection tools,' said the Speaker of Parliament, Ruslan Stefanchuk, on Facebook. And just like that, Ukraine is cleaning house, to teach us a thing or two, no less.
Let me explain it to you in plain English, like I did with Brian when I caught him doing his English homework: this law removes the protections that the European Charter for Regional or Minority Languages gave to Russian - a Council of Europe treaty that Ukraine had ratified before the war went to hell. It doesn't mean Russian becomes illegal, bro, don't get it twisted. But the state is no longer obliged to provide public services in Russian, and teaching in this language can be restricted. And just like that, those in power ensure the linguistic space stays clean, the way I like my trunk after I hose it down at the gas station.
Now, check out the stats: according to official figures, almost a third of Ukraine's population spoke Russian as their primary language before the war, especially in the east and south. But since the 2022 invasion, the use of Russian has plummeted, like everyone suddenly quit talking like they're in Moscow. Only the situation is more complicated because Russia occupies 19% of the territory, so you don't know exactly how many still speak Russian there. Man, it reminds me of the debates at Fane's terrace, when Gică the Dinamo fan said he won't talk to the neighbor from apartment 3 who's a Rapid fan - only here it's with guns and tanks.
These tensions over the Russian language aren't new, bro. They were one of the reasons cited by the Moscow-led separatist rebellion in eastern Ukraine back in 2014. And now, Zelensky drew a line: 'The language of the aggressor gets no protection.' Man, you think it was easy? Every day, on the news, I hear Ukraine is taking a step forward. And me, with my 2008 BMW, I look at them and wonder: when will we take a step forward too, not just backward like with pensions?
Now, seriously, bro: the law is an important decision for protecting the Ukrainian linguistic space and fulfilling European obligations. As Stefanchuk said, 'Ukraine's linguistic justice and security' are priorities. And if you ask me, I say it's good they're putting their own house in order. But don't think it's simple: Russia occupies 19% of the territory, and there, the Russians do as they please. Until then, I'm off to kiss Brian and tell him to learn Ukrainian, because maybe he'll land a job at the embassy in Odessa. Because hey, if you don't learn the language, you're left with a pout!
